As a parent of an adult child, do I have the “right” to tell my child, how to raise theirs?  No!

A grandparent’s role should be one of support – support their child in raising their own child.  I do not have the responsibility of making sure my child does it right and I am so thankful for that!

Do grandparents at times have to help raise or completely raise their grandchildren due to unfortunate situations with their children?  Yes, but this becomes a parent role and sad to say, not one of a grandparent any longer.

My role as a “Grams:”

To give LOTS of Love!

To just enjoy “being” with my grandchildren

To play games, spoil, and allow them to do “special” things at my house that do not break beliefs and values their parents have for raising them.

I will not disregard my children’s wants or desires for their child, just because they are with me and I am Grams.  I want my children to trust me with their children and that I will follow what they have requested of me.

This last one is important to me because when I was a young mom, I knew how I was going to raise my children and I didn’t need anyone telling me how I was doing it wrong!  If I did not want my child to have any sugar until they were 2 (doesn’t matter if they agree with me or not) then it was not their right to give MY child sugar just because they thought it was ok!

I knew instinctively that what was right for one child or one family wasn’t necessarily right for another — including my family and what worked for me!

I know that I sometimes overstep my bounds as a grandparent, but am honest about doing that and letting them know “I know this is none of my business, but…”  Such a passive/aggressive way of getting my .02 cents in I know, but it is something I use sparingly!

I usually offer guidance only when asked and preface it by saying “you might want to try this, or this worked for me.”

I have been around grandparents that constantly tell their children, how to parent their children and it is exhausting, stressful, and I think it damages not only the parent’s relationship with their own child, but trickles down into the relationship with their grandchildren as well, not to mention the damage it does to their children’s marriage.

So, I choose to stick with my Grams role – I want my family to be happy to see me, know I am there when they need me, and not be considered a pain in the “you know where.”

I LOVE BEING A GRAMS!

I had cooked dinner — we were having spaghetti.  I fixed Braiden’s plate and then fixed mine.  When I sat down to the table he said, “Grams, I am going to eat all my spaghetti before you do.”

“Yes, I bet you do.”

“Grams, you are suppose to say, na uh, I am going to win — it is more fun that way.”

“Well, I think you can do anything you put your mind to.”

“So, if it is not raining, and I have an umbrella and open it, and jump off a building, I can fly?”

Lesson — think before you speak — 4 year olds have a different way of understanding.

He always “camps” out in our room when he stays — we tried all sleeping in the same bed, but was quickly reminded of how toddlers do not sleep vertical, but horizontal with their feet in your back.  Their other favorite position is laying over the top of you.  They sleep — you don’t.

Egg crate, blankets and then a cool spiderman sleeping bag does the trick for camping out beside our bed! 

Braiden does wake up occassionally and not remember where he is — I am quietly kissed in the middle of the night and hear whispers of “Grams, I love you.”  Such sweet moments!

I have an adorable little grandson, Braiden and a grandbaby that is due in December.  Braiden is such a joy! While babysitting him one day I took him with me to my hair appointment.  He charmed and dazzled all the ladies in the salon.  Merelyn, my stylist, said “he has got charm just oozing out of his pores!”  Yes, he does.  He loves to flirt with the ladies already and he is only four.  He also loves to use those big brown eyes on his parents and us grandparents as well.

Our next stop was grocery shopping.  Oh my gosh, I forgot about grocery shopping with little ones and all the unexpected items you find in the cart at check out.  I had a new dust pan, extra bananas (I had already put some in the cart), and a big package of string cheese.  These were the items I didn’t see him put in, I did notice when he was putting in the yogurt, orange juice, and of course he needed a new Spiderman toothbrush and toothpaste to match.  Oh, and those magazines, candy bars, little toys, etc. shelves that are on both sides of the check out counter — they should be outlawed!  

I have gotten used to just going into the store, getting what is on my list, browsing the aisle a bit and then getting out.  I forgot about the workout you get while shopping with a little one.  I kept putting things back on the shelf, keeping him beside me, trying to shop and watch him, so he wouldn’t get in front of other people’s shopping carts, letting him ride in front of the cart, then on the end of the cart, “no, you can’t have that,”  “we already have that at home,” and my favorite, “can you wait to go potty, we are almost done.”

These were moments of joy for me, watching him in the store, deciding what he liked and thought he needed.  When my children were small, many times these trips to the store, ended up being moments of frustration for me just trying get in and out of the store, what should have taken 10 minutes took 30, and there was laundry at home waiting, nap time was almost there and crankiest was setting in.  I look at young moms now when I see this and quietly say to them, “enjoy it, they will be grown and gone before you know it.”