As a parent of an adult child, do I have the “right” to tell my child, how to raise theirs?  No!

A grandparent’s role should be one of support – support their child in raising their own child.  I do not have the responsibility of making sure my child does it right and I am so thankful for that!

Do grandparents at times have to help raise or completely raise their grandchildren due to unfortunate situations with their children?  Yes, but this becomes a parent role and sad to say, not one of a grandparent any longer.

My role as a “Grams:”

To give LOTS of Love!

To just enjoy “being” with my grandchildren

To play games, spoil, and allow them to do “special” things at my house that do not break beliefs and values their parents have for raising them.

I will not disregard my children’s wants or desires for their child, just because they are with me and I am Grams.  I want my children to trust me with their children and that I will follow what they have requested of me.

This last one is important to me because when I was a young mom, I knew how I was going to raise my children and I didn’t need anyone telling me how I was doing it wrong!  If I did not want my child to have any sugar until they were 2 (doesn’t matter if they agree with me or not) then it was not their right to give MY child sugar just because they thought it was ok!

I knew instinctively that what was right for one child or one family wasn’t necessarily right for another — including my family and what worked for me!

I know that I sometimes overstep my bounds as a grandparent, but am honest about doing that and letting them know “I know this is none of my business, but…”  Such a passive/aggressive way of getting my .02 cents in I know, but it is something I use sparingly!

I usually offer guidance only when asked and preface it by saying “you might want to try this, or this worked for me.”

I have been around grandparents that constantly tell their children, how to parent their children and it is exhausting, stressful, and I think it damages not only the parent’s relationship with their own child, but trickles down into the relationship with their grandchildren as well, not to mention the damage it does to their children’s marriage.

So, I choose to stick with my Grams role – I want my family to be happy to see me, know I am there when they need me, and not be considered a pain in the “you know where.”

I LOVE BEING A GRAMS!